On a getaway...

I find myself drifting off to Hawaii today. Probably because I haven't been on a vacation since 2005. It was the most beautiful place I had ever seen. It was my first plane ride and first "real" vacation ever! I remember the nervousness I'd felt getting on the plane and leaving my babies behind. Oddly enough I remember thinking..." if I were to die right now at least it would be over a beautiful ocean" Hahaha After a 5 hour flight I could hardly take the anticipation anymore...I couldn't walk fast enough or cut anyone off fast enough to get off that plane onto Hawaiian land. I can feel the warm breeze on my face like it was yesterday, the smell of the beautiful lei around my neck I was presented with. The feeling of complete and utter relaxation and thrill for uncharted territories. I was a new person that day......

I had a permanent smile on my face. Our hotel was beautiful it was right on the beach. I really felt like I was on top of the world. The sand on the beach was like lotion between my toes....the water was like a bath tub. The most wonderful part of the days were the AMAZING sunsets...Oh my goodness! I definitely know God is all around, but during this vacation I saw his glory! It was just so gorgeous! There was a lot of families on the beach and I can remember feeling sad because I knew that my kids would have loved it there too. It was my first time away from them longer than a day or so and that really was hard for me. Looking back now, I wish I would have taken more in.....by the end of our trip I was so anxious to get back to them I stopped enjoying what was all around me and now I regret that. Probably because the chances of me getting back there are pretty darn slim right now.

I long for that feeling of freedom and beauty again. Where my troubles were really miles away and behind me. Its been some really hard times for me lately and I just would give ANYTHING to go back to this place. To feel rejuvenated! I hope that I can return one day with The Love of My Life and take those extra moments that I didn't take the first time around to truly enjoy my surroundings and just breathe the beauty once again. So today the images run through my head of me walking on the beach as the sun is going down, lotion between my toes, the sound of ukuleles all around, the smell of coconut lotion.....and the feeling of peace. Today I am on a mental getaway.

God bless ( :